Low maintenance pet

When I moved (again), it seemed we'd acquired a stow away in the form of a garden snail/slug (the one with the shell that makes a horrible sound when you step on it at night). It attached itself to the wall in the kitchen and there it stayed for around 2 months. The other night I stepped into the kitchen to find my girlfriend feeding the snail on a plate...beans, leaves, some green paste that I didn't know we'd bought. The snail seemed happy enough and we had a low maintenance pet, perfect for modern living.

When we woke in the morning, we found the snail looking ill and thought that the green paste might have disagreed with it...it turned out that it was merely taking a dump. I was later informed that snails are hermaphrodites, no wonder they spend so much time in their shells.